


Rise and Shine

by weareeinsteinsmustache



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Adam is Dean and Sams little half brother, And titles, Angel Castiel, Angst, Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Asexual Kevin, Background Raphael, Benny is the only straight one, Big Brother Dean, Big Brother Gabriel, Big Brother Lucifer, Big Brother Michael, Bisexual Dean, Castiel is a Novak, Charlie Ships It, Chuck is God, Dean is one year older than Sam, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Everyone is A Teen, F/F, F/M, Gabriel Being Gabriel, Highschool AU, Homophobic John Winchester, Homophobic Language, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, I failed, I suck at tags, I tried to be funny, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lucifer and Michael are Twins, Lucifer is kind of a dick at first, M/M, Michael Needs a Hug, Novaks, Novaks are angels tho, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Gabriel, Protective Lucifer, Protective Michael, Punk Castiel, Raphael is adopted, Rebel Castiel, Rebellion, Sam Ships It, Self-Harm, Slowish build, Tags Are Fun, Teen Dean, Teenage Rebellion, Trickster Gabriel, angsty teenagers, lots of queer-ness, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6650563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weareeinsteinsmustache/pseuds/weareeinsteinsmustache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is in Lawrence for a few months while John is on a hunt.  He is spending his time at Lawrence High with Castiel Novak.  A friendship forms immediately and even forms into something more.  But Dean knows he's going to have to leave, but falls in love anyway.  Heartbreak is bound to happen.<br/>this story is abandoned</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I'm so bad at summaries. I kind of gave up on 'Nice Eyes' just because I didn't know where to take it next. But this one I have a bit figured out. I'm still kinds new to the whole writing thing so please. I'm also sorry if my high school isn't very accurate. I'm homeschooled and the only school I went to was Jr. High so it might not seem very realistic and for that, I am sorry. Anyways, please leave reviews. criticism is key here. The whole point is for me to be able to get better so, yeah. I can't guarantee every chapter will be this long, I just went on a spree. I'm sorry if it got duller towards the end, I was running out if ideas, so, yeah. Please review and whatever. Enjoy!

“Rise and shine, fucktruck.”

“Really Gabriel?”

“Shut up and get ready for school, dammit.”

“Just get out my room, asshole.”

Gabriel promptly left the room. Castiel practically dragged himself out of bed to grab some clothes out of his closet. He settled on a black, worn out Green Day American Idiot t-shirt that was two sizes too big and some black skinny jeans. He grabbed the stopwatch he got from his mother before her untimely demise and hooked it around his belt loop and put the watch in the small pocket of his jeans. He then pulled on his red Chucks and his plain black hoodie. He hurried and grabbed his bookbag with a giant hole in the side and quickly checked to make sure he had all of the books he needed. He briefly stopped in front of his mirror to check his hair.

He ran down the stairs to his kitchen where Michael was cooking breakfast and Lucifer was half asleep in his chair with his head on the table. They may be twins but they are nothing alike. While Michael was always up at the ass-crack-of-dawn, Lucifer could sleep all day if he could. They didn’t even look alike. Michael had jet-black hair, not unlike Castiel, and Lucifer’s hair was dirty blonde, similar to Gabriel’s golden hair. Lucifer was in an incident, involving fire, and now has scars around the lower sides of his face and his skin was paler. Michael, on the other hand, has very smooth skin and is very well-toned.

Michael was talking to Gabriel about something about their older sister, Anna, and if they’re going to go Stanford, the same college she is currently attending. Michael and Lucifer will be graduating next year. Gabriel was held back one year, so him and Castiel are in the same grade, two grades lower that the twins. They have another brother, Raphael, who was adopted and is the same age as Gabriel, but is one grade ahead of him.

Today was the first day of the new school year and Castiel was dreading it. He’s going to have to guide the new students, being on the sophomore student council. He was practically forced to try out and ended up winning the elections. He honestly hated it but he did get some time out of class every once in awhile which was nice. He tried to get kicked out by dying the tips of his hair blue and getting snakebites. When that didn’t work, he kept trying. He got a nose ring, a double eyebrow piercing, small gauges, several ear piercings, and even some tattoos. Needless to say, he’s still on the council and still has to guide the new students.

After he came down into the kitchen, everyone grabbed their breakfast and was out the door. Michael, Lucifer, and Raphael got in one car, while Gabriel drove Castiel. The drive was quiet. The silence was cut off by Gabriel. “So, you ready for the new school year Cassie?” He quietly scoffed at the girly nickname. “I am just _thrilled_.” He replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Aww, c’mon, it’ll be fine. All those stupid seniors will be gone and I don’t think anyone else cares enough to pick on you.” He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.” And with that, they got out of the car and walked into the dreaded school building.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Rise and shine Sammy!”

“Dean, please, go away.”

Dean walked back to his room, Aisa flooding throughout the entire house. He promptly pulled on his jeans and a black shirt and a red flannel. He laced up his boots and shrugged on his dad’s leather jacket. Their dad rented this apartment for a few months while he was out on the hunt. He was surprised to find out that they were staying for more than a couple months. Apparently, John wanted to stay a while. He would be gone most of the time either hunting or drinking. Sam and Dean would be going to Lawrence High School.

It was strange being back in their home town again. It was clearly hard on John, so he was drinking more often in bars out of town, leaving the 16-year-old to take care of himself and the 15-year-old boy. He hated his father for it but he knew he couldn’t really help it. Except that he could, and that pissed off Dean more than anything. John was an alcoholic, homophobic, mostly absent asshole with two kids and no use for them, except for items to rely on and try to get them to work by hitting them.

Dean tried his best to protect Sam from John’s drunken, violent fits of rage. He would send Sam to bed before John got home and would stay up to take the beatings himself. But sometimes John would get home early and Sam had to get hit too. Most nights, John wouldn’t come home and Dean would lose a significant amount of much-needed sleep. Everything seemed to be Dean’s fault in John’s eyes. Sam isn’t asleep? Should’ve sent him to bed earlier. There was no money for food because John spent it all on booze? Why don’t you have money? Why don’t you have a job? Dean started believing it, but he had to stay strong, for Sammy.

Today is Sam’s first day at high school and Dean is excited for him. Dean was dreading it for himself. He would probably just sluff the whole time. The teachers don’t seem to understand “I’m going to be gone in the next couple of weeks, that’s why I don’t have my books, fuck off now please, thank you.” And it’s not like he’s going to be able to make friends, he would just leave them anyway. He couldn’t afford to have feelings for anything or anyone. That was Dean’s number one rule, no falling in love. He did that once. Once. 

Dean had already made breakfast by the time Sam came down stairs and into the kitchen. “Heya, Sammy. How’d you sleep?” He tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible. “Fine I guess.” Sam never was much of a morning person. “I made eggs.” Sam slumped down in the kitchen chair. He looked small for a six-foot man. “Cool, thanks Dean.” Dean still couldn’t believe how Sam managed to get taller than him. It was only an inch and a half but he was skinny making him seem just that much taller. “Of course Sammy, ready for your first day at high school?” He just nodded silently as he ate his scrambled eggs.

After a few minutes they left and got into the Impala and Dean drove them to school. The closer they got to the school, the more awakened Sam seemed to be. Dean could tell that he was getting nervous. He chuckled a little to himself at the thought of Sam being nervous for school. He has always been a genius and loved school, it was just out of character for him to be dreading it in any way. They pulled into the parking lot of the school.

They got out of Baby and walked into the school. They were a little late, but they were supposed to have some sort of guide to show them around the school. Dean could honestly care less but Sam wanted to see the new, bigger school. As soon as they walk in, there is a small group of students near the entrance. There were eight kids, presumably two for each grade. It was hard to distinguish which kids were from which grade.

Each kid had some sort of distinguishable characteristic that Dean used to remember them. One kid had a normal, teenager face, but was very short, no more than 5’ 8’’. Another had electric blue in his jet-black hair and several piercings and tattoos. At first Dean thought he was just some kid sluffing class but he was definitely one of the guides. He and the shorter man seemed to be friends.

Another kid looked like he belonged in 7th grade still. He had dark hair and a red baseball cap on his head. When they walked in the door, they looked at him. One of the students, who kind of reminded him of his dad when he saw pictures of him when he was younger, asked, “You new?” Dean didn’t like the vibe he was giving off. “Yeah.” The student next to him, who looked way too old to be in high school, spoke up. “What grade you in?” Dean put his hands in his pockets. “Um, freshman and sophomore.” He saw the shorter man perk up. “Cassie, that’s you.”

The punk kid looked up at Dean. _This hardcore, punk-ass kid’s name is Cassie?_ Dean thought to himself. Him and the shorter man walk up. He held out his hand. “I’m Gabriel, and this is my brother, Cassie.” he nudged the punk kid in the ribs, “He’s going to be showing you around.” He grinned up at ‘Cassie’. He was looking down at the Gabriel kid with malice in his eyes. “Go get ‘em, tiger.” Gabriel said before walking away. 

“Um, hi, my name’s Castiel.” He said nervously holding out his hand. _So Cassie’s just a nickname, Castiel is just as weird though._ Dean thought as he replied. “I’m Dean.” He said shaking his hand before promptly putting his hand back in his pocket.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gabriel decided to help Castiel today with guiding. He was the one who forced him to join the student council with him. They were waiting around for them to show up, they were late. Michael is on the senior council with Gadreel. There were no new senior students so they were just hanging around. Castiel felt very uncomfortable. His ex boyfriend, Balthazar, was on the junior student council and was there. He was there with his current girlfriend, Hannah. The one he dumped Castiel for.

The only ones he didn’t know were the two from the freshman council. Samandriel and Hael were their names. His thoughts were interrupted by the front doors of the school swinging open. Two boys walked through, one was skinnier and taller with long dark hair and dark eyes, and the other was slightly shorter but looked much older. He had dirty blonde hair that was spiked up and the _greenest_ eyes Castiel has ever seen.

Gabriel leaned over and whispered, “Hey, they’re pretty hot. I think that one’s checking you out.” He nodded over at the shorter man. He then proceeded to look the taller one up and down. “He looks _delicious._ ” He was practically drooling over him. “Gabe, cut it out.” He said elbowing him in the ribs. “Hey, you never denied it.” He said with a signature eyebrow waggle.

“What grade you in?” He heard Gadreel speak up. Castiel didn’t look up, but his heart was racing. “Um, freshman, and sophomore.” He couldn’t help but flinch. That meant that he had to guide this guy around the school. All day. Every day. For a week. Gabe nudged him in the side. “Cassie, that’s you.” _Yeah, no shit Sherlock._ He thought to himself, walking over to the older kid. After introducing them, he walked away whispering to Castiel, “Go get ‘em, tiger.” before running towards the freshman being led away by Hannah and Samandriel. He saw Gabriel jog over to them and say something along the lines of, “I got this guys, you just get to your classes.” They hesitantly nodded and walked off as Gabriel introduced himself to the kid.

Castiel snapped out of it and turned towards the new kid, slightly embarrassed about what Gabriel had said. He looked up. He saw the confusion on his face after Gabriel had called him ‘Cassie’ so he felt the need to clarify. He held his hand out and said, “Um, hi, my name’s Castiel.” _Smooth._ He seemed slightly skeptical, but said, “I’m Dean.”

_Dean._ The name was perfect. It rolled right off his tongue. “Dean.” He hadn't realized he said it out loud. “Um, yeah. So, um, should we go?” Castiel felt himself blush. He cleared his throat. “Um, yes.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean almost died right then and there. He hadn’t ever imagined he would be so turned on just from someone’s voice. But then his voice saying his name, Dean almost couldn’t handle it. And how could someone’s eyes be so _blue._ Dean always knew he was bisexual but he would definitely go gay for this guy. This _Castiel_ guy. He hasn’t even had a proper conversation with him and he is already crushing on him.

_Wait. What. No. No crushing. Dammit Dean, how did you fuck up already?_

He was snapped out of his thoughts. “You coming?” There was that voice again. Dean quickly gained his composure. “Uh, yeah I’m coming.” _Smooth._ “Alright.”

After a minute or two, Dean didn’t trust his thoughts anymore so he tried to make conversation. “So, um, are you and that Gabriel kid friends?” Stupid question. “Um, yeah, actually, he’s my older brother.” He figured they were friends but he would’ve never guessed they were brothers. They looked nothing alike. “Oh, wait, he’s your _older_ brother?”

“Yes, one year older than me. We’re in the same grade because he was held back in junior high. Why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s just- I saw him go off with my _little_ brother.”

He noticed Castiel start to blush a little bit. “Um, he, uh, well, he just really liked your brother I guess.”

“Hm, wait, what do you mean by _like_?”

“Um, I dunno. Thought he was cute I guess.” Castiel was blushing even harder.

“Oh…” I didn’t know what to say. I was slightly relieved. His brother is gay and they seem to get along so he accepts it, but that also means if he doesn’t have many more siblings, he’s probably not gay. Well, there’s only one way to find out.

“So, how many siblings do you have?”

“Um, I have four brothers and a sister, why?”

“Just curious.” He had three other siblings other than Gabriel so that means there’s a chance.

“So, there’s Gabriel, who else?”

“Um, it goes me, then Gabriel, and then we have an adopted brother named Raphael. There’s Lucifer and Michael, they’re twins, and then we have an older sister named Anna.”

_Lucifer? Castiel? Raphael? What are these names? They must be super religious. That means he’s probably not gay. Except Gabriel is. And Castiel I can tell is quite rebellious. Maybe he is gay._

“Oh that’s cool. Do they go to this school?”

“Yeah, all of them except Anna, she’s at college. Raphael is a junior and Michael and Lucifer are seniors.”

“Hm.”

“Why are you so interested in my family anyway?”

“Oh, no reason really.”

“Well, okay then. Who’s all in your family then?”

“Well, there’s me, and then my little brother, Sam, and then, I have a little half-brother, Adam. He’s in 7th grade, but he lives with his mom.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“Yeah, I guess. My dad, well, he makes us move around a lot. We’re lucky if we stay at one school for more than a few weeks. But this time, my dad says we’re gonna stay for a few months, I don’t exactly know why, but we are.” Dean couldn’t figure out why he was so open to this kid. He never talks to anyone about his family, and he’s known his kid for, what, about 45 minutes.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Why the hell does this kid care so much about my family?_ He just keeps asking questions. I mean, he’s super hot, but still! Lay off, man. He seems nice, but super nosey. He couldn’t at least wait until we’re on a date and let me tell my story? That is, if he’s actually gay. Which he’s probably not. Maybe I can invite him over some day, like friends. It would be kind of like a date, but not. Maybe if we have at least _one_ class together, I could use that as an excuse for him to come over.

“So, um, can I see your schedule?” Again, smooth. “Uh, sure.” Dean handed his paper over. _Okay, let’s see. This kid is in art? Never took him for the type. We have art together, and english, and science. Three whole classes. First period, fourth period, and eighth period. That’s good, they’re spread out. Okay, yeah, this is good._

“So?” Castiel was snapped out of his thoughts. “What? Oh, yeah, the classes. We have art, science, and english together.” Why was he struggling so hard to form proper sentences? “Oh, really?” He actually sounded excited. “Yeah.” Dean was actually excited to be in some classes with him. “At least I’ll know somebody.” He was _smiling._ That smile made Castiel’s heart melt into a metaphorical puddle. Castiel couldn’t look away. He realized they stopped walking in the middle of the hall.

“You okay?” Dean asked. “Huh, what? Yeah, I’m fine.” He quickly gained his composure and continued walking. 

A couple hours passed and it was time for lunch. Castiel quickly walked into the lunchroom and b-lined it to the back table where his little group of friends sat. He never ate lunch at school. He figured if he’s gonna be spending money on their food, it may as well be good, which it’s not. He spotted his best friend, Charlie, and sat down across from her.

“Hey, Cassie, what’s up?” He wanted to ask her for help. “So, you’re an expert, how do I tell if someone is gay without flat out asking them?” She laughed. “Why, gotta crush?” “Well, maybe, yes. And I need to know if he’s gay. He’s new and I was guiding him around and, he kept asking me questions about my family, like, my siblings and stuff.” She had a look of realization on her face. “He was asking about your siblings?”

“Yeah, like, how many I had, their names, and how old they are.” Charlie looked so amused. “Dude, I think he was trying to see if you’re gay.” Castiel was very confused at this point. 

“Wait, how?” 

“Wait, did he meet Gabriel?” 

“Um, yeah, kinda. Gabriel thought his little brother was cute and ran off with him.” 

“So he knows Gabriel is gay?” 

“I guess so.”

She was just shaking her head laughing. She was about to say something when he heard a voice behind him. A very familiar voice. “Hey, Castiel. I was wondering if, since you’re the only person here I know, if i could sit with you?” He seemed to struggle finding words. Charlie decided to speak for him. “Sure you can! There’s a spot right over here.” She said patting her hand next to her. “Um, okay, thanks.” He walked around the table and sat down next to Charlie.

“So, if this the new kid Cassie was talking about?”

“Um, i guess so.”

Charlie held out her hand. “Hi, I’m Charlie Bradbury, Castiel’s BGF, and queen of moons every other weekend.” She said with a smile. “Um, BGF?” Dean asked. Castiel was so embarrassed that she actually said that, but instead he put up his carefree demeanor. They both replied, “Best gay friend.” Dean looked a bit taken aback. Castiel could’ve sworn he saw a glint of hope in his eyes. “Um, hi, I’m Dean Winchester.” He smiled and shook her hand. That was when another girl walked over.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She sat down on the other side of Charlie. “Oh, hey babe!” Charlie said before turning towards her and kissed her. “Jo, this is Dean, Cassie’s new boyfriend!” Dean visibly blushed. Castiel tried to keep his cool. “Charlie, he’s not my boyfriend.” He flicking a lone pea at her. “Not yet anyway.” Charlie said with a wink. “Oh my god, Charlie.” He said, flicking another pea. Jo leaned back and tapped Dean’s shoulder from behind Charlie. He turned around. She held her hand out. “Hi, I’m Jo Harville.” He shook her hand. “I’m Dean.” She beamed at him. “Nice to meet you Dean!” As she sat up, he heard her whisper in Charlie’s ear, “A.k.a. Cassie’s future husband.” Dean blushed.

Castiel must’ve heard her too because he threw several peas at her. “You guys are ridiculous, I’m sorry, Dean.” Dean was still blushing. “Oh, no. It’s okay, really.” He was just happy that Castiel was actually gay. “Um, you don’t have to stay if you’re uncomfortable.” He probably thought he was homophobic. “No, it’s okay, actually, I’m bi.” The three of them looked at him. “Ha! It’s official! He’s totally your boyfriend!”

“Charlie, for the love of god, please!” They were all giggling when two guys walked up and sat across from Charlie and Jo. One of them was small and Aisan and the other looked way too old to be in high school. “Hey Kevin, hey Benny!” Charlie greeted them excitedly. “Hey guys, who’s the new kid?” The older looking guy said with a southern drawl. Castiel spoke up, “Kevin, Benny, meet the new member of the queer squad, Dean Winchester.” He said, gesturing towards him. Benny rolled his eyes and held his hand out. “Hi, I’m Benny Lafitte, and this is Kevin Tran.” Kevin held his hand out and Dean shook it.

Kevin seemed completely submerged in his book. He didn’t really talk. “Hey, where’s Garth?” Charlie piped up. “I think he got a new dog or something and he stayed home to take care of it. I swear he thinks he a dog or something.” Jo answered. _Like a werewolf._ Dean thought to himself. “Aren’t all the freshmen so cute?” Charlie said. “I’m just glad that’s not us anymore” Castiel joined in. “Oh, Dean, isn’t your brother a freshman?”

“Um, yeah, but I don’t see him anywhere. He’s like, 6 feet tall, he shouldn’t be hard to miss.” Dean looked around. He spotted him with some other kids at the next table. “There he is.” Dean said pointing at him. The others looked over. “Hey Sammy!” Dean called. He saw Sam look up at him. He smiled and waved. “Yep. That’s my baby bro.” Charlie smiled. “He’s so cute.” He noticed Gabriel came and sat by him. He had a huge shit-eating grin on his face. “I see Gabe has taken a liking to him.” Jo said. “Yeah, Gabriel thought he was cute. He actually guided him around the school.” Castiel smiled a bit. “That’s so cute!” Charlie piped. Dean was a little weirded out at the thought of Sam being anything other than straight. He felt kind of bad, Gabriel seemed nice and he would have his heart broken by Sam.

Castiel seemed to notice Dean’s distress. “Hey man, you okay?” Dean snapped out of it. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” Castiel was staring intently into his eyes, like he was trying to look into his head and read his thoughts. He seemed to succeed in reading Dean’s mind. “Is Sam straight?” Dean just looked solemnly at him. “Um, I’m not one hundred percent sure. He’s never really said anything about, even when I came out to him. He had a girlfriend once and it ended in heartbreak. He’s never been in a relationship since, but he seems happy right now, so I dunno, maybe.”

Castiel just nodded in response. After that, they just carried on small talk about what they did for summer and stuff like that. A kid walked up to their table right behind Castiel. He was definitely a jock. He had another guy behind him. Castiel turned around and looked up at him, his elbows back on the table. “Hey fag, you corrupting the new kid already?” Castiel didn’t even seem fazed, like he was expecting it. “Well, hello there to you too Gordon.” He sounded somewhat seductive. “You think you’re so smug little punk? Want me to teach you a lesson?” Castiel just smirked. “Oh, I’m usually the dom, but being a sub makes me all tingly, Gordon.” This ‘Gordon’ person looked pissed. “Eat dick, Novak!” Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “Haven't you heard…” He slowly dragged his finger down his chest. “...I’m into that.” He said quietly.

Gordon was pissed now. He went to punch Castiel, but he grabbed his fist and twisted it, making Gordon fall to his knees in pain. “Well, if you wanted to suck my dick, all you had to do was ask.” Castiel said. Gordon quickly got up and stormed off holding his wrist, his friend following closely behind. Castiel turned around, facing them again. He let out the breath he was holding. Dean was amazed by Castiel’s nerve. “You go Cassie!” Charlie held her hand up for a high five. Castiel high fived her but he was breathing raggedly. “Hey, you alright man?” Dean asked. “Um, yeah, just nerves.” Dean nodded. Benny put his hand on his back. It looked like shit like that happened all the time. “I would never suck that guy’s dick anyway.” Castiel said with a laugh. They all just laughed after that. The bell rang shortly after that.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They spent the rest of the day roaming the halls and talking about whatever. They became good friends. The day ended and it was a few minutes until the dismissal bell rang. “Hey, you wanna come over today. We could play video games or something.” Castiel finally worked up the nerve to ask. “Um, sure, but I need to take Sammy home first.” He couldn’t believe he actually said yes. “Okay, cool.” They just stood outside the entrance until the bell rang. They then walked over to the Impala and waited for Sam.

After a few minutes, Sam walked up to the Impala with Gabriel. “Hey, Dean, um, is it okay if I go over to Gabriel’s today and hang out?” Dean looked at Castiel with an amused expression. “Actually, I was heading over there myself so, yeah you can go.” He noticed the smug look on Gabriel’s face when he heard that Dean was going home with Castiel. “Oh, okay then, see you there I guess.” Dean nodded and walked around to get in his Baby, Castiel following soon after.

“So, wanna get lunch?” Castiel asked. “What?” Did he mean like a date? “There’s this really good place I know, and I wanna take you there.” It was totally a date. “Okay, sure. Just tell me how to get there.” And with that, they went off. They soon arrived at a place called ‘The Roadhouse’. It looked like a classic saloon. Dean dug it.

“This is it.” They got out the car and went inside. Dean noticed Jo was there behind the counter with an older woman, presumably her mother. “Hey Ellen!” Castiel said. The older woman looked up. “Hey, Castiel. Who’s your friend?” She nodded towards Dean. “He’s Cassie’s new boyfriend.” Jo piped up. “Jo, really? Ellen, this is Dean, my new _friend_.” He clarified. “Hi.” Was all Dean said. “Well, what can I gat ‘cha today?” She already knew what Castiel would order so the question was directed towards Dean. “He’ll have the double cheeseburger with a large fry.” Castiel said. “Alrighty, then.” Ellen nodded towards Jo. “Aw, he’s ordering his food for him.” Jo said. “Shut up Jo, or you’re not getting a tip.” He retaliated. “You never tip anyway, you ass.” Castiel just smiled and let Dean to the booth towards the back by a window.

“Trust me, the cheeseburgers are _amaze-balls._ ” Dean just scoffed. “Whatever you say, Cas.” He noticed Castiel’s face fall a bit. “What’s wrong?” Had Dean offended him somehow? Castiel gave a sad smile. “Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just, I haven’t been called ‘Cas’ in a long time.” Maybe that was a nickname reserved for a certain person? Either way, Dean couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. “Hey, I can just call you Castiel, I’m just used to shortening people’s names.” Castiel looked up. “No, it’s okay. Call me Cas” He said with a smile that, if Dean had them, would make his ovaries explode.

“Hate to interrupt but here’s your damn food.” Jo set the food on the table. “Thanks, bitch.” Castiel piped. “Fuck you.” Castiel smiled. “The service here sucks, no tip.” She just smiled and flipped him off and walked away. “She seems like a delight to be around.” Dean said. “I know we act like assholes to eachother, but we basically grew up together. She’s like a sister to me.” Dean just nodded and looked at the cheeseburger in front of him. “Are you trying to eat it with your eyes or what?” Dean looked up and blushed a little.

After lunch, they went back to the Novak’s. They had a very large house. Not quite a mansion, but pretty damn close. Dean let out a low whistle. “You loaded or what?” Castiel just laughed. “We inherited a shit-ton of money from our parents and our aunt. They were pretty loaded I guess.” _Inherited? His parents must have died._ He thought sadly. “Oh.” was all he said. “So, let’s go in!” Castiel said and jumped out of the car, Dean not far behind.

They walked up the the solid oak door and Castiel just opened it and walked in. There was sort of a main area with a sitting room to either side of a staircase. Castiel yelled an, “I’M HOOOOOME!!” Before going into the kitchen, obviously looking for someone. There was a man with dirty blonde hair sitting at the island munching on carrots. “Hey, Cassie.” The man said. Dean assumed he was one of his brothers. Dean noticed burn scars on his face. He flinched a little at the thought.

“Who’s your friend?” He nodded at Dean. He was a little intimidating but seemed nice nonetheless. “Oh, Luci, this is Dean Winchester. He was new to the school this year and so I was guiding him around and stuff.” _Luci? This scary-ass man’s name is Luci?_ Dean thought to himself. ‘Luci’ didn’t hold his hand out or anything, just said, “Hey, I’m Lucifer.” Dean remembered Castiel mentioning him. _Lucifer? Who the hell names their kid ‘Lucifer’?_ Lucifer flinched a bit, almost like he read his mind. Castiel had a similar expression. “Well, we’re just go to my room, okay? Um, tell Mikey I’m home.” Lucifer just grunted in response.

Castiel led him back to the staircase that led to a hallway. They got to a room with a door painted like the TARDIS. Dean chuckled. “You’re a Whovian?” Castiel opened his door grandly to show his room. It had many various posters of a bunch of different movies and shows and even video games. “And more.” Castiel said with a smile. Dean just breathed a ‘woah’ and walked in.

After a few hours, Dean had to go home and get Sam to bed. John could be back any minute. “Hey, I, uh, gotta go home.” he said. “Oh, okay.” Castiel said, standing up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Castiel nodded and led him out of his room. He walked up to Gabriel’s door, banging on it with his fist. “Sam’s gotta go, dude!” He yelled through the door. Sam soon opened the door and walked out. “I’ll see you tomorrow, babe!” He called back. “See ya Samoose!” He smiled and followed Dean down the stairs. _Did he just call him ‘babe’?_ Dean thought.

They were now driving home, Dean speeding like usual. “Did you just call him ‘babe’?” Dean asked. Sam blushed but protested. “No, I said ‘Gabe’?” Dean just laughed and mumbled a ‘sure’.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically what happens at home and the day after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is going to be just a bit darker. I has a little more of what happens at home I guess. It's short but I wanted it to be good. I had a huge chapter written up but I realized it was moving the story a bit too fast for my liking so I did a lot of re-writing and it ended up quite short but it has information that is necessary for the plotline.  
> A bit of a self-harm warning, if you consider not letting a wound heal. Might be triggering. Just to be safe.

After Dean had left, Castiel couldn’t help but think. _What the hell was that all about?_ He was in such a hurry all of a sudden. To be honest, Castiel was a little concerned for his friend. He wanted just to zap into his house and see if he’s okay, but he knew he couldn’t. It would ruin everything. And besides, he didn’t even know where he lives. Well, he could just follow his soul, but that’s besides the point.

 

“What’s got you so stressed baby bro?” Castiel almost jumped out of his chair. He hadn’t heard Lucifer walk in. Castiel sighed, “I honestly don’t even know.” Lucifer just looked slightly concerned. “Are they gone?” It took Castiel a minute to register that he had spoken. “Yeah, you’re fine.” Lucifer promptly let his broken and battered wings out of his vessel. Having three sets of them, it got just a bit crowded as he shook them out before pulling them back in a bit. Lucifer then sat across from Castiel on the other side of the island.

 

“Okay, what happened?” Him and Lucifer have always been quite close. “Nothing.” He lied. “Cassie…” He was concerned but didn’t want to push too far. “It’s nothing Luci. Don’t worry about it.” He started to stand up. “Cassie, wait.” Lucifer stood up as well and grabbed his arm. Castiel quickly ripped his arm from his grip. Lucifer was much stronger than Castiel, but let him walk away.

 

Castiel stormed up to his room and tried, and failed, not to slam his door. He just laid face-down on the bed. He couldn’t help but think he did something wrong. Everything was always his fault. He wasn’t able to save his siblings when they died. So many people died because of him. He finally found love and he fucked it up. He was self-loathing and he hated himself for it. He was pathetic.

 

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After speeding his way home, or what he would temporarily call this shitty-ass apartment, they finally arrived. Dean was relieved that John wasn’t home yet. Him and Sam promptly got out of the car and went up to the apartment. He unlocked the door and went inside, Sam following suit. He threw his bag on the couch and sat down on the other side. Sam then went into the room that Dean and him shared and started working on his homework.

 

Dean stayed up watching a late night Star Trek marathon. It was almost three in the morning and fortunately, John hadn’t shown his face yet. Dean started to drift off when he heard a loud bang. He jumped and instinctively grabbed his gun, aiming it at the door. He hesitantly put his gun back down when he saw a drunken John standing in the doorway. Dean puts the gun away before closing the door behind John as he staggered into the kitchen and unceremoniously flopped in one of the kitchen chairs, dropping his beer in the process. “Sonovafuckin-” He said under his breath.

 

Dean went to clean up the mess John had made coming into the house. John got up from where he was sitting and harshly shoved Dean onto the floor. “Get out of the way.” He harshly spit at him. Dean just sat where he was on the floor, waiting for what John will do next. John walked over to Dean’s form and kicked it. “You’re nothin’ but a fuckin’ dog, boy.” Dean winced. He knew it was just mindless drunk-talk, but he still took it to heart. John proceeded to kick Dean in the ribs before stomping off to his room. Dean waited until he heard the door shut before getting up, wincing at the aching pain in his side.

 

He started cleaning up the glass on the floor. After cleaning the mess, he went into him and Sam’s room where a full-body mirror rests on the wall. He lifted up his shirt and analyzed his injuries. He figured he had a bruised or broken rib and a gash across the side of his ribs. He went into the bathroom to stop the blood, but didn’t bother clean the wound. He wrapped it in a bandage and went to bed. He knew there would be a nasty bruise there in the morning.

 

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Castiel woke up the next morning to Lucifer yelling, “GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!” down the halls. He rolled out of bed and realized he slept in his clothes. He decided just to change his shirt. He then grabbed his bag and walked straight down the stairs. It was a typical morning, except for Lucifer’s unusually energetic attitude. 

 

After what happened yesterday, Castiel didn’t want to go back to school. Was Dean mad at him? Why did he leave like that? Is he okay? Castiel has always had abandonment issues. He didn’t want to lose anyone else. He’d only known Dean for a day and he already messed everything up. Maybe someone else will guide him around the school for the rest of the week.

 

The time came and Castiel was at the school. He was waiting by the entrance. The bell was about to ring. Maybe Dean didn’t want to see him ever again. Castiel was cut out of his thoughts by the bell. He didn’t go straight to class. He lingered a bit until Michael grabbed his arm. “C’mon, let’s go.” He said sternly.

 

They just started walking away when they heard the front doors slamming open. “Cas, wait!” Dean yelled. He winced in pain slightly due to his injury. Michael visibly flinched at the name. Dean had his hands on his knees, out of breath. Sam was behind him with a hand on his back. “Sorry I’m late, car troubles.” He said. Castiel walked over to Dean, helping him up a little. Michael just huffed and walked away.

 

“Are you okay, Dean? You appear to be injured.” Castiel noticed Dean wince as he stood up. “I’m fine, Cas.” Castiel was glad that he wasn’t still mad. “I was worried, I thought you were mad at me…” Dean seemed almost offended. “Why would I be mad at you?” Castiel shifted a little. “You left so suddenly yesterday, I thought I did something wrong.” He said getting quieter and tailing off at the end.

 

Dean seemed to be looking for some kind of excuse. Was he going to lie to him? “Um, yeah, my dad was going to be home soon so I had to be there when he got there, he doesn’t like it when I go to other people’s houses.” Castiel figured he wasn’t lying, but he was definitely avoiding something.

 

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That morning, Dean woke up to an aching pain in his side. He sat up in panic, before remembering what had happened the previous night. He sighed and got out of bed. He realized that he didn’t set his alarm last night. It was almost seven forty-five and school started at eight. He slept in his clothes so he hurried and put on his boots and ran over to Sam’s bed to wake him up before realizing he wasn’t there.

 

He ran out to the main room to see Sam in the kitchen, eating cereal. “Dean, you’re up?” He looked concerned. “Yeah, why didn’t you wake me up?” Sam had a sad smile on his face. “I thought you could use a little extra sleep.” Dean just sighed in defeat and walked off to the bathroom to clean up a bit.

 

He didn’t have time to take a shower so he just washed his face and checked on his wound. It was looking pretty bad. It would probably get infected. He knew it could cause him to have to go to the hospital, but for some reason, he didn’t want to clean it up or anything. He liked the way it reminded him of his failures. He pulled his shirt back down and went to the bathroom before walking back out to the kitchen. He apparently spent a lot more time in the bathroom then he thought because it was eight o’clock and they were late.

 

Dean and Sam jumped into the car and sped off to the school. They make it there in five minutes due to Dean’s driving. Dean knew that Castiel was waiting for him so despite the pain in his side screaming at him not to, he ran into the building and saw Castiel walking away. He yelled after him, “Cas, wait!” Castiel stopped in his tracks and whoever was next to him flinched.

 

Dean was doubled over in pain and exhaustion. He had come up with an excuse in the car. “Sorry I’m late, car troubles.” He said, regaining his composure. Sam came in and put a comforting hand on his back. “Are you okay, Dean? You seem to be injured.” Castiel said. _How the hell could he tell?_ Dean didn’t think Castiel would ask, he thought he was hiding the pain like he has all of his life. Dean tried to brush it off. “I’m fine, Cas.” Castiel looked relieved but was persistent.

 

“I was worried, I thought you were mad at me...” It almost sounded like he was accidentally thinking out loud. “Why would I be mad at you?” He wondered what would make Castiel think this way. Castiel shifted uncomfortably. “You left so suddenly yesterday, I thought I did something wrong.” He trailed off.

 

He didn’t want to tell Castiel exactly why he had left like he had. He knew it was pretty shitty to leave like that but still. He wasn’t going to lie, but he wasn’t going to tell the whole truth. “Um, yeah, my dad was going to be home soon so I had to be there when he got there, he doesn’t it when I go to their people’s houses.” That sounded convincing, and it was kind of the truth.

 

Castiel visibly relaxed at that but Dean could tell that he still had a lingering thought. “Your breathing is labored.” He stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah I just sprinted across the parking lot and field at top speed.” Castiel didn’t seem convinced. “You shouldn’t still be struggling for air like that. Are your ribs injured? Are you asthmatic?” Castiel asked worriedly, concern filling his eyes. He started reaching for his ribs. Dean instinctively flinched away. “Dean, let me see.” If Castiel knew, then Dean would have to tell him about his father and he really, really didn’t want to do that.

 

“Hell, no!” He exclaimed. “There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine.” He lied, “If it’s nothing then let me see.” Now Castiel knew he was lying, but he wasn’t going to let up. “No, I’m not gonna lift my shirt up for you.” Dean could tell that Castiel was getting frustrated. “Dean, don’t lie to me, please.” Castiel looked really sad now, almost sympathetic. “Please, Dean, I know you’re in pain. Please let me help.” Dean didn’t understand, his voice was cracking. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. Dean felt really bad for some reason. He went up to Castiel and grabbed his shoulders. He realized they were still in the middle of the hallway.

 

“Listen, Cas, I promise, I will tell you one day. Just, not today.” Castiel just looked up at him with bright blue eyes. They were glossed over with tears, making them seem just that much bluer. “Dean-”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“I promise, I’ll tell you, one day.” Castiel just nodded in response. He seemed happy with that conclusion. Castiel quickly wiped his eyes and chuckled. “I can’t believe I just cried in front of you.” Dean smiled warmly. “It’s okay. That’s what friends are for, right?” Castiel smiled and nodded. “Yeah, it is.” Castiel was so caught up in the moment that he forgot that they should probably go to class. “Dean?”

 

“Yeah, Cas?”

 

“We should, um, probably go to class.”

 

“Oh, you’re right.”

 

They both chuckled a bit before Castiel started walking. “Art’s this way.” He said, pointing behind him. Dean jogged up to him, once again ignoring the pain in his side. He’ll clean it up when he gets home tonight.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and tell me what you think!


	3. Domestic Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down at the Novak resident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for self harm.

When Castiel got home that night, he couldn’t stop smiling. His brother seemed to notice that night at dinner. Naomi was home that night so they all had to dress up and eat together like the good Christian family that they pretended to be. Castiel had to take out all of his piercings but the ones on his eyebrow were still relatively new so he couldn’t take them out yet. He had to gel his hair down anyway but it wouldn’t quite reach. Luckily it blended in with his hair and kind of looked just like moles or freckles so he didn’t worry about it much. He was forced to wear dress pants and a dress shirt that matched the other brothers. He used the long sleeve shirt to try and hide all of the tattoos. He felt so plastic.

 

While eating dinner, as usual, he shut out whatever the hell they were talking about and just thought about anything else. This, however, resulted in thinking about Dean, causing him to blush and smile. He didn’t realize he was doing it until he felt Gabriel nudge him in the side. Castiel whipped his head up and looked around the table like he missed something. A few people sort of glanced at him but nothing more. Gabriel whispered to Castiel. “What are you smiling about?” he said in sort of a sing-song manner. “Nothing, shut up.” Castiel harshly whispered back.

 

“What are you two talking about over there?” Naomi asked. She reminded him of a teacher when kids were caught passing notes or talking in class. “Oh, it’s nothing of import Naomi.” Gabriel said with a smile. Castiel and Naomi both glared at him, for different reasons. Fortunately, Naomi dropped it and continued talking with Michael about whatever. Castiel let out the breath he had been holding. “Thanks a lot, Gabriel.” He just smirked in response.

 

Naomi never knew about Castiel’s tattoos or piercings. Castiel was usually really good at hiding it but tonight seemed to be different. Throughout the night, just subconsciously, kept flipping his hair out of his face. He didn’t really notice himself doing it but apparently Naomi did. “Castiel, what is on you’re face?” Castiel whipped his head up for the second time that night. “Um, excuse me?” She glared at him. “On your eyebrow.” Castiel tried to play coy by reaching up to the other eyebrow that lacks the piercings. “Did I get it?” Naomi just squinted at him. “Are those piercings in your eyebrow?” Castiel gulped. His brothers were all looking at him. They all knew he was fucked. Castiel finally found his voice.

 

“Um, yeah.” he said nervously. She gasped lightly before shaking her head. “It was those kids at your public school, wasn’t it?” Castiel was taken aback slightly. “W-What?” She sighed. “I knew you shouldn’t be going to that public school. Those kids are a bad influence on you. You are a Novak, you should not be with those lesser humans. You will get rid of that and we can enroll you to a private academy by next week.” Castiel couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Um, Naomi, I don’t think that’s necessary.” Lucifer tried to defend. “Lucifer, please, you are an eldest son, you should be encouraging this. I will enroll all of you.” Michael and Gabriel’s eyes widened at this. Raphael didn’t seem to care.

 

“Mom, we don’t need to go to private school.” Michael said. 

 

“ Well, clearly you need to. You’ve been brainwashed.”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s clearly a bad influence. Before you know it, you’re baby brother is going to be found on the side of the road next to a dumpster, overdosed on illegal drugs!”

 

Castiel stood up abruptly, knocking his chair back. Everyone at the table was staring at him. “You think you know us, but you don’t know anything about us! Not really!” She just stared at him, mouth agape. 

 

“You think I don't know my own children?”

 

“No, I don't! You are not our mother, so stop acting like you fucking own us! You think you’re such a great parent? You’re no better than dad! You’re always gone, you might as well be dead!” She looked completely stunned, like he just killed the entire family.

 

Castiel stormed up to his room and slammed the door. He ripped his off his shirt, sending the buttons flying through the air. He took off his pants and just stood there in his boxers. He throw on a Breakfast Club muscle tee and went to the bathroom. He just stood in front of the mirror. He didn’t feel regret, or remorse for what he had said to Naomi. Because it was true. She was always so busy going to fancy galas and meetings to try and make them a perfect family. She wants to be in their family, just joining in right in the middle of everything. She will never be part of their family, not really.

 

Castiel still felt worthless. He felt like a disappointment. It’s not just because of the piercings or tattoos. He can never do anything right. He always fucked things up and he hates himself for it. He’s tried many times to harm himself. But his vessel wasn’t affected by it. His grace would always heal the wounds. The only way he could do actual harm was with his angel blade. He reached into his dresser and grabbed the silver blade. He held it in his hands, analyzing every detail. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He sat down on the lidded toilet and rolled up his boxers slightly to reveal older scars. He ran the blade across the skin as it hissed, damaging the grace. There was blood seeping out of the wounds. He made the cuts much deeper than normal. 

 

Back in the dining room, Naomi has yet to say anything. Lucifer was feeling unrelenting rage towards what she had said. All of the brothers knew about Castiel’s depression and past self-harm, but Lucifer was the one who found out. He had walked in on him soon after Naomi married their dad. He told their brothers and they helped him recover. He had been recovering but since school was about to start he started getting depressed again. The previous years, he always got bullied for being gay and other various reasons, some of them not even being true. Lucifer knew what Naomi had said had gotten to him.

 

Lucifer quickly stood up from the table a and ran up the stairs. He pounded on the door. He heard distant sobbing coming from the bathroom in Castiel’s room. He kicked open the door and ran into the bathroom. “CASTIEL!” he screamed into the bathroom. Castiel was covered in blood and tears. “Lucifer...please…” his voice was shaky and hoarse from trying to hold back sobs. He was kneeling on the floor with his back to the toilet. There was blood coming from his arms and legs. Lucifer kneeled next to him and pulled him in a hug. Castiel wrapped his arms around his neck and he sobbed into his shoulder.

 

Everyone at the table remained silent. The brothers in understanding, and Naomi in confusion. They could hear the yelling from where they were in the dining room. Michael and Raphael could tell that it was taking every shred in Gabriel’s being to not attack Naomi to the ground for saying those things and being ignorant to what exactly was going on. Michael stood up and walked around the table towards Gabriel. Naomi sighed exasperatedly, Michael turned towards her.

 

“What?” he said pointedly. When she didn’t reply, he just shook his head in disapproval and continued walking toward Gabriel. He slightly bent over to be at eye-level with him and put his hand on his back. Gabriel kept his head downcast but slightly relaxed under the touch. “C’mon” he said and helped him get up. Gabriel was shaking slightly but got up with the help of Michael’s arm around his waist, holding him up, they went upstairs and into Gabriel’s room. Raphael just left and went up to his room leaving Naomi alone at the table.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Dean and Sam got back to the apartment, John was already there. The brothers shared worried looks before exiting the car and walking up to their room. Sam hung back while Dean went in. He opened the door to see John sitting at the table and appeared to be mostly sober. “Where’ve you been, boy?” He asked. His speech was slightly slurred. “Um, school, sir.” John just glared at him and turned back to his research before mumbling “Useless…”. Dean just ignored his words and gestured Sam inside, leading them to their shared room.

 

Sam sat down on the bed while Dean sat on the floor. “Do your homework, Sammy.”

 

“Don’t have any.” he mumbled. “Oh.” was all that Dean said. He couldn’t stop thinking about what John had said. Dean was useless. He couldn't do anything right. He always messed things up. He was a horrible brother and a horrible son. He wondered if he and Cas would ever get together. Even if they did, he would be a horrible boyfriend, he always has been. He had an actual relationship once and he even fucked that up.

 

“Hey, Dean?”

 

Sam’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “Uh, yeah, Sammy?” Sam shifted nervously. “Don’t let what he says get to you.” Dean was taken aback. Was he talking about John? “I've heard some of the things he says to you, and it's not true.” Sam was looking at Dean with sympathetic eyes. Dean just couldn’t look at him. He thought he had protected him all these years. As if he was reading his mind, Sam spoke up. “You know, apartments have thin walls and pretending to be asleep isn’t hard.”

 

Dean didn't know what to say. He felt even more like a failure. “Dean, it’s really not your fault, it’s his.” Sam tried to redeem himself. The words were slightly comforting. “Thanks, Sammy. I’m gonna be eighteen in two years, we just gotta hold out for two more years and I’m taking you, and we’re outta here alright? I promise, I’ll get you away from him.” Sam gave a smile. “I know you will, Dean.”

 

They both sat there in comfortable silence for the next couple of hours. “You should get to bed, Sammy, and please, go to sleep.” Dean said with a small smile. “Yeah, Okay, I will. And Dean, please, be careful.” Dean huffed. “I will. Night, Sammy.”

 

“Night Dean.”

 

Dean nodded and walked out of the room. He saw John passed out on the couch with bottles scattered around. Dean picked them up, careful not to wake him, and cleaned up the place before going to the bathroom. He checked his wound. It wasn’t getting any better. He tried to clean it as best he could, but it was pretty bad. It hurt like a son of a bitch but there wasn't much he could really do. He just wrapped it back up and went to bed. He would worry about it later.

 

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Castiel woke up the next morning next to Lucifer in his bed. He sat up slowly trying not to disrupt Lucifer’s sleeping form. Lucifer stirred, signaling he was awake. Castiel stopped moving, waiting for what he was going to do. He mumbled something and reached up and grabbed Castiel’s sleeve. “Lucifer?” he whispered. He just mumbled again. “I can’t understand your sleep talk.” He turned on his back and opened his eyes. “Where are you going?” Castiel realized that he had school that day. He panicked and looked for his clock. “Calm down, you don’t have to go today.” Castiel just looked down at him, and tried to remember what had happened. He looked around the room. He decided just to lay back down and try to go back to sleep. He was facing Lucifer with his back to the wall. He turned around and snuggled against him and drifted back to sleep.

 

A few hours later Castiel woke up again to find the bed empty. He sluggishly got up and stood out of bed. He didn’t bother to get dressed and went downstairs in his boxers and muscle tee. He found the kitchen was empty except for Lucifer. He was making breakfast and looked surprised to see Castiel. “What are you doing up?”

 

“How long was I asleep?”

 

“Um, about thirteen hours.”

 

Castiel nodded and sat down at the table. After a few minutes of silence, Lucifer brought over two plates with eggs, bacon, and french toast and set them down on the table. Castiel grabbed the plate and brought it to him. “Thanks, Luci.” Lucifer grunted and sat down across from him. They ate for a minute before Castiel spoke up. “So, uh, where is everybody?”

 

“School.”

 

“Oh, and Naomi?”

 

Lucifer glanced up at him. “She said she went to a meeting but she seemed kinda fucked up after last night.” He said slowly. Castiel started to remember what happened the previous night. He quickly looked down and saw the fresh scars and remembered everything. He looked back up at Lucifer who had a solemn look on his face. Castiel just looked down at the rest of his food.

 

He started thinking and then looked up. “So, uh, what happened after-um, that?” Lucifer just looked at him, not changing his facial expression. “Um, I came upstairs and we cried for a while, then after about an hour you fell asleep so I cleaned up everything and put you to bed and went back downstairs but the only one there was Naomi and she looked pretty freaked. So, anyway, I went back upstairs and Michael was helping Gabriel calm down, and Raphael was asleep so I just came back to your room and slept with you.” Castiel hummed in response. He knew Gabriel had PTSD and anger issues and Naomi causing Castiel to freak like that probably triggered it. Castiel understood, what Naomi said wasn’t right.

 

After they finished their food, Lucifer took their plates and washed them before putting them away. Castiel just propped his elbows up on the table and rested his chin on his fingers that were laced together. “What time is it?” Castiel thought he might be able to get to school still. “They’ll be home in about twenty minutes.” He must’ve known what he wanted to do. “Oh, okay.” Lucifer looked over at him. He walked over and sat in the chair next to him and put his arms around him and pulled him into a hug. Castiel leaned on him and closed his eyes. “I love you, Castiel.”

“I love you too, Lucifer.”

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Dean woke up to his alarm and got out of bed. He slept a lot better than he usually does. He wouldn’t say he slept _good_ , but better. He hasn’t slept _good_ in twelve years. He walked over to wake Sam up and left the room. He went to the bathroom while Sam got ready. Started up the shower and took off his shirt. He winced when he saw the wound. It was way worse. It was infected for sure and it hurt just to breathe. He figured, maybe a shower would help but it didn’t look like it was going anywhere soon.

 

After he got out of the shower, he went into his room and got dressed. Sam was already in the kitchen, sitting at the table doing some homework that he wasn’t able to get done the previous night. After Dean was dressed, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed his bag. Sam got up following suit and they went out to the Impala. Dean was actually excited to go to school today. He was looking forward to seeing Castiel again.

 

They pulled into the parking lot of the school. They walked into the building together, looking for certain Novaks. Sam lit up when he saw Gabriel. He was talking to the guy that Castiel was with the previous day. “See ya later, Dean!” Sam called out as he walked over to the shorter man. They started talking. Both Gabriel and the other guy looked extremely tired. Dean knew that look, that’s the look of someone who is trying to look happy when inside, they are in pain. Dean could tell, but he couldn’t imagine what could’ve happened, and why the other guy looked the same way. Maybe that was one of Castiel’s brothers.

 

Castiel still was nowhere to be found. Dean walked over to Gabriel. “Hey Dean-o!” he said. Dean smirked at the nickname. “Hi Gabriel. So, um, where is Castiel today?” Michael’s face fell and so did Gabriel’s, but only for a moment. “He wasn’t feeling well, so he stayed home today.” Dean nodded. He would be lying if he wasn’t disappointed. The only reason he didn’t skip class everyday was because Castiel was there. He just nodded in understanding and walked towards the back of the school. He didn’t go to class that day.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The next morning, Castiel decided to go to school. Lucifer offered to stay home with him but he protested. Castiel was just relieved that it was finally Friday. He pulled on his favorite Green Day tee shirt on, not caring that he wore it already that week, and pulled his beloved hoodie on. It hurt his fresh wounds but he was used to the familiar sting. He walked downstairs and was greeted by his brothers sitting at the table bickering over whatever. Gabriel looked at him with a bit of surprise.

 

“You’re going to school today?” Castiel grabbed a waffle and dipped it in the syrup that was on Michael’s plate and took a bite out of it. “Yup.” was all he said. Gabriel just hummed before remembering something.

 

“Oh, Cassie, I forgot to tell you, Dean was asking about you yesterday.” Castiel looked over in surprise. He hadn’t expected Dean to worry about him. “He did?” he asked. Gabriel smirked. “Yup, and he seemed pretty worried.” Castiel couldn’t believe it. Dean actually _worried_ about him when he wasn't there. He must’ve been blushed because Gabriel snickered. Castiel just glared at him, making him shut up. He sighed and after a few minutes of getting breakfast cleaned up, they all left for school. Lucifer rode with Castiel and Gabriel instead of Michael and Raphael.

 

“So, Cassie, this Dean kid?”

 

“What about him?”

 

“C’mon Cassie, are you guys, like…” He waggled his eyebrows at him. Castiel just scoffed but was blushing.

 

“No, Gabriel, we’re just friends.”

 

“But you want to be more, right?”

 

Castiel just glared and he lifted a hand up in surrender. Lucifer decided to join in. “Even so, Castiel, what if he’s a hunter?” Castiel sighed.

 

“I seriously doubt it Luci.”

 

“I’m just sayin’, be careful okay? We don't want you getting hurt.” Castiel sighed. They pulled in the parking lot of the high school, ending their conversation.

 

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I had it written and just, never posted it. Anyhow, comments are a great motivator. Please tell me if I described something wrong or just anything in general. Don't expect regular updates. I will update as much as possible, I just have school stuff, and I procrastinate. I have nothing else that I am currently working on, so I might be working on it more. Please tell me if I need to add any tags or warnings. Whatever, thanks for reading!


	4. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is back, but noticeably different. Dean wants to know why, but ends up confessing his own secret instead.

Dean was waiting impatiently by the front doors. Sam had gone to the library to finish some homework. If Castiel was still sick today, he would sluff and go to his house to check on him or something. It’s not like he was missing him, like, _a lot_. No, not missing him, just worried about his friend. That’s all, and nothing more.

He saw two guys walk in. One was with Gabriel the previous day and the other was shorter with chocolate skin. Not long after them, three more people walked in. Dean’s heart skipped a beat when he saw Lucifer and Gabriel walk in side by side and Castiel following behind. He noticed that Castiel looked extremely tired. Dean walked over to him.

“Hey, Cas!” he called out. He quickly looked up. It seemed to take a minute for him to register who was talking. “Oh, hello Dean.” he said with a soft smile. Dean tried to act like he wasn’t absolutely thrilled, and a bit relieved, to see him again. “So, uh, where've you been, man?” Castiel looked like he was thinking. “Oh, I didn’t feel well.” He said with confidence. “Oh, that sucks.” he said kind of awkwardly. The shorter boy was looking at him like he was trying to see into his soul. They just stood there staring until the bell rang, and they both jumped at the sudden noise.

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They both sat in their assigned seats in the art room before the bell rang. The teacher was just in her desk and yelled “Read the board!”. She looked like she really didn’t want to be there. On the board just read “Free Draw Day”. Everyone got out of their seats to go and sit by their best friends and talk and do whatever on their phones, but Castiel just pulled out his sketchbook and started drawing. Dean sat at the table at the opposite corner of the room. He wanted to get up and go sit by him but he didn’t want to interrupt whatever he was doing. He noticed how Castiel would glance up at him every now and then, and Dean would either smile briefly before looking away or pretend he wasn’t previously staring.

They day went by slowly and Castiel seemed more distant. They used to stay together as much as possible. They had a routine so they could see each other in the halls between classes. But now, Castiel would just walk straight passed him and would avoid eye contact. After the bell rang, Dean ran and caught Castiel as he was trying to hurry out of the room as fast as possible. Dean reached out and grabbed his arm and he flinched in pain.

“Shit, man, sorry. I just wanted to maybe talk to you?”

Castiel just glared at him. “I, um, I really have to go.”

“Please, Cas, It will only be a minute, I just need to ask you something.”

Castiel sighed. “Okay, Winchester, one minute.”

He folded his arms and turned to face Dean. “Can we maybe, go somewhere a little more private? We’re still in the classroom.” Castiel looked around like he just realized that they were, in fact, still standing in the middle of the science classroom. “Fine.” he said before walking out into the halls by the lockers. “Okay?” Dean seemed like he was spacing out a bit.

“What?”

“You wanted to talk to me?”

“Oh, right. I just-It’s just-” he was trying to choose his words. “Are you okay?”

Castiel seemed taken aback. “What?” he asked a second time.

“It’s just, you seem a bit distant, sad. I just wanted to know if you’re okay?”

_You don’t even know, Ken doll,_ he thought to himself. “I’m-I’m fine. I’m just tired, still not feeling well.” Dean didn’t look like he believed him. Castiel sighed. He remembered a few days ago when Dean was acting strange, what he had said. Castiel decided to throw his words back at him.

“Listen, Dean, I promise, I will tell you one day. Just, not today.”

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“Listen, Dean, I promise, I will tell you one day. Just, not today.”

Dean was taken aback. He remembered when he used those exact same words. He was talking about when he had been beaten by his father, was Castiel using them with a similar purpose. Dean didn’t even want to think about Castiel being hurt like he has. Dean felt momentarily angry, and sad. Castiel turned to walk away. Dean needed to know, if Castiel was hurting like he was. “Cas wait!” he ran after him. Once he caught up, Castiel tried to ignore him. “Dean, I really need to go.”

“Cas, please, talk to me.”

“I can’t right now.”

“But you are.”

“Dean, don’t you have to take Sam home?”

“He’s a big boy, he can wait.”

Castiel stopped walking. He sighed in defeat. “Dean, please, I want to go home.” Dean decided to test the waters a bit more.

“Let me come over.”

Castiel just dropped his head for a moment before looking at Dean with big, sad eyes. Dean was lost in a sea of blue. He felt like they had been staring at each other for hours but it was only a matter of seconds before Castiel blinked a few times. “You really don’t want to come over to my house right now.” That just confirmed Dean’s suspicions. “Castiel…” he asked cautiously. “You know how I said I would tell you someday?” Castiel just looked at him expectantly before slowly replying with, “Yeah…”

Dean sighed. He really didn’t want to, but he knew there was no other way he would get Castiel to talk about it. “Let’s go to the bathroom.” Dean started walking towards the nearest bathroom and Castiel followed hesitantly. Once they were in Dean stopped. “Um, a couple of days ago, I, uh, got this.” he said as he slowly pulled his shirt up, revealing the infected wound on his side. It looked even worse with the almost-blackening bruise that covered almost his entire right side of his torso. Castiel gasped and his eyes widened.

“Oh my God, Dean! What did you do?” he asked panicked. He instinctively went to touch it but Dean took a step back, wincing slightly. “I didn’t do it!” Castiel looked up at him, worry and a hint of anger slapped across his face. “Well then who did?” Dean looked away. He really didn’t want to tell. “Dean,” Castiel’s voice was dangerously low. “Who did this to you?” he asked slowly. It almost sounded like a demand. “Uh, it was…” he let his shirt drop back down over the wound. Castiel was looking at him, waiting for an answer. “Look, it doesn’t really matter, I just-” he was cut off. “Of course it matters Dean! That thing’s infected and you know it. It could send you to the hospital! Dean, who did this to you?” He was practically yelling at this point, which, despite his personality, didn’t do often.

“Um, it was my dad. But, please it’s not that big of a deal. I deserved it and I knew it was coming and-” His rambling was cut off by the look on Castiel’s face. It was like he knew that was the answer and he just didn’t want to believe it. There was a look of pure anger on his face. Dean couldn’t help but think that if this were an anime, his eyes would be covered by a shadow and he would have a purple aura surrounding him.

“Your dad did this to you?” he asked through gritted teeth. “Um, yeah.” Dean said quietly. His voice was hoarse from trying to choke back tears. “Does this happen often?” Dean was surprised by the question. He didn’t think Castiel would continue speaking. “Um…” Castiel looked up at him, tears in his eyes. “...Yeah…” was all that Dean said. Castiel let out a choked sob. Dean immediately wanted to go and comfort him. He stepped forward. “Cas, please, I’m-” Castiel just violently shook his head. “Don’t you dare apologize.”

He didn't know why, but he was expecting Castiel to be angry. There was so much hurt and pain on his face. He was angry, but not at him. “Castiel…” Castiel looked up. “How long has he done this to you?” _Ever since the demon killed my mom,_ Is what he wanted to say, but he knew Castiel wouldn’t believe him. “Um...since my mom died in a fire, about twelve years ago.” Castiel winced. “Dammit, Dean! Twelve years? What about your little brother, does he beat him?” Castiel knew it was blunt, but he needed to know. Dean thought about lying, but decided there was no going back now. “Uh...not as often. I usually send him to his room when we’re home so I can take it all from John, but sometimes he’s there before we are and he gets to Sam, but I don’t let him do much. Nothing that can’t be covered with clothing or a convincing story.”

Dean was crying at that point. Castiel walked over to him and put his arms around his shoulders in a hug. Dean clung onto him like he was his life source. It felt like he was. They were like that until they heard footsteps down the hall. “C’mon, let’s wash your face.” Castiel said as he lead Dean to one of the sinks. Dean nodded. Castiel grabbed a generous amount of paper towels and put them under cold water. He then handed them to Dean to gratefully took them and ran them down his face. He finally got it so he looked somewhat presentable and not like he just confessed to his only friend the crap that goes on in his private life.

They walked out of the bathroom, Castiel with his arm around Dean’s shoulders for a moment before dropping it. They both slowly walked out to the parking lot where Sam was waiting impatiently by Baby. “What the hell took you so long?” he asked once they were within earshot. “Sorry Sammy, something came up. It’s no big deal.” Sam looked skeptical, like he was going to ask for more but decided against it and just said, “It’s Sam.” before getting in the car.

Dean turned back to Castiel. “Uh, thanks.” Castiel smiled a little bit but still looked worried. “Are you going back there?” Dean looked down. “Yeah…” Was all that he said. Castiel shook his head in disapproval. “Dean, you can’t keep letting him do that to you.” Dean looked up and smiled a bit. “Yeah, but where else can we go. I still got him to worry about. Trust me, I’m not gonna be stayin’ there any longer than I have to. The minute I turn eighteen, I taking Sammy and leaving.” Castiel looked dissatisfied but seemed to let it go. “Just know, you can stay at my house any time, okay?” Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah, okay.” They sat there for a moment, just staring at eachother before Sam honked the horn, successfully breaking them out of the trance that they were in. “So, um, I’ll see you tomorrow I guess?”

“Yeah, you will.”

“Just, be safe, okay?”

Dean nodded. “I will.” They both nodded and Dean walked around to the driver’s seat of the car. He pulled out slowly, watching as Castiel walked away. You know, for a guy who wears all black and has that many piercings and tattoos, he was probably the most understanding person that Dean has ever met.

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Castiel walked over to where Gabriel was sitting in his truck, looking bored. He perked up when he saw Castiel walking over. “What the hell took you so long?” Castiel couldn’t help but smile, because that’s exactly what Sam had said. “I had to do something, it’s no big deal.” Actually it was kind of a big deal, but Gabriel didn’t need to know that right now. “Mmhmm...sure.” Castiel wasn’t in the mood to mess around so he just ignored him and look out the window, watching the houses glide by.

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As Dean drove to their shitty little temporary home, he couldn’t help but feel sick at the thought of John being there. Luckily, he wasn’t there. Sam and Dean quickly grabbed their bags and went up to the room. Dean didn’t know why he felt the need to hurry as fast as possible but he did, and Sam noticed. “Dean, what the hell? Slow down!” he said. Dean decided to come to an abrupt stop, making Sam run into his back. “Hey!” Dean just laughed. “You said I was going too fast, so I stopped. “Not funny, Dean!” Dean just laughed more. “Then why am I laughing?” He started walking again. He heard Sam mumble, “Cause, you’re a fuckin’ sadist.” Dean couldn’t help but burst out laughing at that. Sam didn’t swear often, considering being around Dean and John his whole life. They walked into the apartment. John didn’t come home that night, and Dean slept well again.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's not longer, I've just been running out of inspiration. I am probably going to start a new fanfic soon so I've been working on that a little bit.


	5. Shed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel skip class to stay in a shed. They share feelings and memories.
> 
> Warning: Mentions of past child abuse and child neglect. Mentions of current child abuse.
> 
> This chapter is pretty depressing I guess, might be triggering. Very dialogue based towards the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. I had the whole chapter written up on Google Docs, but it somehow got deleted. I just got kinda discouraged, but here is a pretty long chapter for you.

The next morning, Castiel was awoken to the sound of Gabriel stomping on his floor while violently shaking him yelling “Wake up you lazy chickenfucker!” After he left, Castiel got dressed. He put on an old trench coat that once belonged to a 40-year-old autistic man who drowned in a bathtub. It was tan except the rain guard and storm flap were blue. It was quite unusual but Castiel liked it. It was a bit big on him. The bottom got ripped and covered in dirt so he just ripped it off. The sleeves got ruined so he just ripped them off at the shoulder. He added some studs on the storm flap. He stitched ‘ANGEL' onto the rain guard with a pentagram underneath it. He realized how contradicting those two things were, but that’s why he did it. He was rebellious. Towards his family, and towards others. He was still an angel though, so he was naturally a good person at heart. He liked helping people.

Underneath the trench coat he wore a dress shirt that wasn't buttoned all the way and a loose blue tie. He wore his black skinny jeans and worn-out combat boots. He was feeling extra rebellious so he but in all of his piercings. He just ruffled his hand through his hair and went downstairs. Michael and Lucifer we're bickering as usual and Gabriel was putting his dirty plate in the sink. Everything was normal, except for Raphael wasn't there.

“Yo, where’s Raph?” Michael looked at him, ready to answer, but Lucifer beat him to it. “He’s being a little bitch and staying home sick.” Michael looked irritated and Castiel just nodded in understanding. “Okay, everyone ready to go?” Michael asked, sounding a lot like a mom. Not like they had a lot of knowledge about what having a mom is like but they watch TV.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dean got up and walked across the room to wake up Sam’s sleeping figure. Sam rolled over and mumbled something Dean couldn't understand. “Dean, I think I'm sick.” His voice was extremely hoarse and deep. Dean could tell he wasn't lying but he also knew that he couldn't leave him alone in the apartment. John didn't come home last night so he will probably come home in the day.

Dean sighed. “Alright, I'll drop you off at Bobby’s and you can rest there.” Sam just nodded his head. Dean sat down on his own bed and pulled out his phone, dialing the familiar number. Dean told him that Sam was sick and couldn't go to school so he needs to stay at his house. Bobby happily agreed.

“Alright, c'mon let's go.” Dean said and Sam rolled out of bed. They both walked out, Sam still had his blanket around him, and got in the Impala. Dean hastily drove to Singer’s Auto and pulled in front of the garage where Bobby was standing. Dean helped Sam out the the car and led him inside. He knew he was going to be a little late for school but he didn't care, Sammy was his first priority.

“It’s okay, I got ‘im. You just get to school now, alright?” Dean nodded. “Thanks, Bobby.” he said before walking away, but he didn't miss the quiet, “Idgit.” He just walked over and got in Baby before swiftly driving away.

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When Castiel got to school, Dean wasn’t there. He couldn’t help but be worried. After that talk in the bathroom yesterday and finding out that Dean’s father would hurt him. He was worried that it had happened again. He waited nervously by the door. Gabriel was waiting by him. “Cassie, you okay?” Castiel looked over at him, his face showing worry. “No, he’s not here yet and I need to know if he’s okay.”

“Cassie, I’m sure he’s fine, he’s just late or busy or something.”

“No, you don’t understand, I need to know if he’s okay.”

He didn’t intend to sound rude, but he was worried. He felt almost protective of Dean. His dad is a danger to him and he always has to take care of Sam, there was no one there to protect him. Gabriel said nothing more, he just looked down at his feet. The bell rang but Castiel just stood there. He was determined to wait until Dean showed up. Gabriel didn’t move either.

After about thirty minutes of standing there, the doors swung open and someone walked in. Castiel glanced up and had to do a double take. He audibly gasped. “Dean!” Dean smiled the brightest smile. “Hey Cas! Were you waiting here for me?” Castiel blushed but put his confident face on. “Yeah, I had to make sure you actually showed.” It was Dean’s turn to blush now. Gabriel walked over to them. “Hey, where’s your moose of a brother?” Dean almost didn't notice him.

“Um, he’s sick so I let him stay home.” Gabriel nodded and Castiel whipped his towards Dean, worry on his face. “I dropped him off at our uncle’s place, it’s okay.” Relief washed over Castiel’s face, while Gabriel just looked confused. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Gabriel spoke up. “So, um, we should go to class, yeah?” Dean and Castiel agreed and they went their separate ways. Once they were out of Gabriel’s view, Castiel stopped walking. “Hey Dean, is it alright if we don’t go to class today, there’s somewhere I want to show you.” Dean was confused, but all for it. Castiel usually never skipped class. “Um, sure.” Castiel smirked and nodded his head behind him. “It’s this way.” And he started walking away.

They walked almost all the way across the school and went outside. Castiel led them to the shed where they kept the big lawn mower and other stuff to care for the fields. Castiel help up a set of keys. “Swiped these from the janitor.” Dean shook his head in amusement. “Cas, isn’t he gonna come out here to get the mower or something?” Castiel shot him a devilish grin. “Nah, he’s not gonna come out here. Words of the wise; ninety percent of janitors and most school staff other than teachers, will do things for bribes. And not always money.”

“Oh my god, please don’t tell me you gave the janitor a blowjob.”

“What?! No! I would never. I’m classier than that. It was just a handjob.”

“Cas!”

“Kidding! Kidding! I gave him some dope that I got from one of Luci’s buddies.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Ha! I bet you’ve never met anyone like me have ya?”

“I can’t say that I have. You’re special, Cas.”

“Awww, shucks. Stop it, you’re making me blush!” He said in a fake, high-pitched, southern drawl. Dean just shook his head and Castiel chuckled. After he managed to pull the door to the large shed open, he gestured for Dean to go in. “And I thought chivalry was dead, what a gentleman.” Dean said in a monotone voice. Castiel grinned and pulled the door shut.

There were small windows located at the top of the walls. The morning sunlight shining through, hitting Dean’s face perfectly. Castiel couldn’t help but freeze and stare at him. He was the most beautiful person he has ever seen. Dean must have noticed his staring and cleared his throat. Castiel flinched out of his daze. “Oh, yeah.” he said as he walked over to the far end of the wall and sat down on the floor. He patted the spot next to him, gesturing for Dean to sit. “C’mon, I don’t bite.” Dean smiled and sat down. Castiel leaned in close and whispered in his ear. “Unless you want me to.”

Dean couldn’t stop the shiver that ran down his spine. He wanted to lean over and kiss him so bad, but he knew he couldn’t. Castiel leaned away from Dean and looked at his outstretched legs. They were sitting close enough that their arms were touching. Castiel slowly inched his hand closer to Dean’s, but stopped. He didn’t want to scare him off just yet.

Dean could’ve sworn that Castiel was trying to hold his hand. Oh, how much he wishes that he did, but maybe that’s not what he was doing and Dean is interpreting this entirely wrong. Dean looked over at Castiel. Castiel was staring at him and they locked eyes. Castiel looked like he had hope in his eyes. They were staring for what felt like hours. Dean felt himself leaning forward slowly, noticing Castiel doing the same. They only stop when their noses touch. Both of their eyes were half-lidded and lust-blown. Castiel’s the one to finally leans in and closes the space between them. At first Dean was a little shocked and didn’t move. Castiel quickly leaned back, fear on his face. Dean quickly recovered and grabbed Castiel’s neck, bringing him down and crashing their lips together. Dean kept one hand on the back of his neck and the other on his hip. Castiel put his hands in Dean’s hair.

They broke apart, both in need of air. Castiel looked up at Dean, panting slightly. “That-you-I-” his stammering was interrupted by Dean when he said, “I love you.” It was barely above a whisper. He looked like he didn’t mean to say it out loud, but it just slipped. Castiel was a little shocked at the sudden exclamation, but recovered quickly. “I love you too.” Dean and Castiel both broke out in a smile before crashing their lips again.

This kiss got really hot, really fast. The kiss was slow, them just moving their lips in sync. Castiel slid his hand up Dean’s shirt, making Dean gasp. Castiel took advantage of this before inviting his tongue into it. Dean responded with a moan that did _things_ to Castiel. They moved around a bit and Castiel was on Dean’s lap. Dean kept his hands in his hair while Castiel was running his hands up and down Dean’s sides, making him shiver and moan.

After a few minutes, Castiel broke away. They were both panting like they just ran a marathon. Dean looked at him, confusion in his lust-blown eyes. Castiel chuckled at the sight and answered his silent quiet question. “I really didn’t want our first time to be in a shed.” With that, Dean couldn’t help but laugh. Castiel got off Dean, but sat right next to him, leaning his head on his shoulder. Dean was the first to speak. “You have no idea how bad I wanted that.” Castiel chuckled. “I might.”

This time, Dean laced their fingers together as they sat there in comfortable silence for a minute. “So, Dean Winchester, wanna be my boyfriend?” He asks, smirking up at him. Castiel now had his head on Dean’s lap as he layed down on the floor. “Hell yeah I wanna be Castiel Novak’s boyfriend.” They both chuckled a little. Dean was petting his hair, lulling Castiel to sleep. They were like that for an hour or so before Castiel spoke.

“Hey Dean?”

“Hey Cas.”

“Can I talk to you about something?”

“Um, sure. You’re not breaking up with me are you? I know I’ve made some mistakes, but we’ve been together for like, an hour.” Dean said, sarcasm dripping in his voice.

“Ha ha, very funny. But, no, I’m not ‘breaking up’ with you. I am asking you something though.”

“Oh yeah? What would that be?”

Castiel sighed and closed his eyes. He then sat up, sitting next to Dean. “I wanna know about your life.”

“What?”

“You’re life. You. I wanna know about you, and the things you like and the things you’ve been through.”

“Why?”

“Well, I just-I just realized that I really don’t know that much about you, and you probably don’t know that much about me.”

“Well, what do you wanna know?”

“Um, what’s your favorite color and why?”

“So it this some sort of Q&A interview type of thing?”

“Yes, now answer my question.”

“Okay, okay, um...it would probably have to be blue.”

“Okay, why?”

“Because, the ocean is blue. The sky is blue. My mom’s favorite color was blue. I don’t know, I guess just a lot of good things in life are blue.”

Castiel was quiet for a moment. He honestly didn’t expect an answer like that.

“What about you? What’s your favorite color?”

“I like green. It’s nice. Like your eyes, er, I dunno, grass.”

Dean just hummed and nodded.

“Can I ask you a question, Cas?”

“You just did.”

“Another question.”

“Okay, shoot.”

“Now, I don’t know if this is super personal or something and I don’t want to be invasive and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to and-”

“Just ask the damn question.”

“Okay, well I was just wondering, why did you act so weird when I called you ‘Cas’? And your family? They just act kinda weird, like, I just said Voldemort in Hogwarts or something.”

Castiel was quiet for a moment, like he was thinking of an answer.

“That’s what my mother used to call me.”

Dean was still curious. _Used to_ , was she dead?

“Before she died.”

Dean’s thoughts were confirmed. He didn’t want to push the subject, because he knows how hard it is.

“I’m sorry, Castiel.”

“It’s okay, we loathed each other.”

Dean was shocked.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she was a druggie who abused and neglected her kids.”

“Oh my God, Cas.”

“Yeah, after she OD’d and died, no one called me that anymore.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I agree that my name is kind of a mouthful. Cas is easier.”

“Oh, okay.”

There was silence for quite a while. Dean was processing this new information and Castiel was patiently waiting.

“Okay, I changed my mind, this is boring. New game; tell me the biggest thing that happened each year of your life. We can take turns.”

Dean thought for a moment. Like most humans, he couldn’t remember stuff from before he was three or four, but he decided to play along anyway. He knew that this was going to get pretty deep pretty fast, so he braced himself and went for it.

“Okay, year one; I was born.”

“Oh, that’s a good one.”

“Uh, year two, Sammy was born.”

“Uh-huh.”

Castiel just looked at him like he was trying to read him. Like he was trying to figure out a puzzle that was Dean Winchester.

“Do I keep going?”

“If you wanna.”

“How about you go.”

“Okay, year one; I was born.”

“Yeah.”

“Year two; first time my mother tried to kill me.”

Dean was shocked. He knew this was going to be a deep conversation but damn, he doesn’t beat around the bush does he?

“W-What?”

“Yeah, I personally don’t remember it, but my siblings told me. My biological mother didn’t want to be a mom, or at least it seemed like it. Apparently, she only wanted one kid, so when Michael and Lucifer were born, well, she said that Lucifer was the mistake and that’s why she named him that and he was always the one she would beat up.” 

He took a deep breath. 

“Then, after Gabriel was born, she kinda just gave up. She just neglected us, acted like we didn’t exist. Except for when she would hit us. I was born and she started going even crazier I guess. Apparently, she tried to shoot me up with heroin, trying to kill me. Gabriel stopped her, but got seriously beat for it. She tried to kill him on several occasions, so one of us would always be with him to protect him. She would like, go after him with a knife or something. She really hated us.”

Dean thought that his dad was bad, but other than beating him half to death, he usually didn’t try to kill him. Dean didn’t think a mother could act so badly to her children. He didn’t know his mother long, but he knew nothing but good things of her.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

“Um, no, I’ll go.”

“Okay, go.”

“Okay, uh, year three, uh, gimme a second.”

“Alright.”

Dean remembered age three. It was when he first learned about monsters. But he couldn’t tell Castiel that. So he just said the next biggest thing.

“We celebrated Sammy’s first birthday. That was fun.”

Castiel looked somewhat unconvinced, but didn’t say anything.

“Year four, my mom died.”

Castiel just looked sympathetic, but curious.

“She, uh, died in a house fire. It was in Sammy’s nursery. I’m not exactly sure what happened, but I know that she heard Sammy crying and ran in. She ran downstairs to get my dad but he was asleep in the living room so she ran back up and the room was aflame. She screamed and my dad ran up. I woke up from all the noise and ran into the room. My father handed Sam to me and told me to run so I did. I ran outside. I could see the room. It looked like it was about to burst. My dad ran out and picked me and Sammy and ran away from the house right as the room exploded.”

Dean lied just a little bit, but that doesn’t hurt anybody right?

“Wow.”

“Yeah, I still have nightmares.”

He honestly didn’t mean to say that. It slipped out. At this point in the conversation, they were sitting so close to each other, Dean thought they were going to merge into one person.

“Um, do you wanna go?”

“Maybe later.”

Dean turned his head to look him in the eyes. They were sitting side by side with their heads turned at 90 degree angles to face each other. Dean leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Once they pulled apart, Castiel wrapped his hand around Dean’s neck and pulled him into a hard kiss. They know their lips would be bruised, but they didn’t care. After a while of silence, Dean had a question nagging at him.

“So, are we just going to spend the rest of the day in this shed?”

“Do you want to?”

“Yes.”

So that’s what they did.  
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	6. Just a hint of Sabriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds out that Sammy has a relationship, some Sabriel happens at the Novak residence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person. I personally told some of you that I would publish in a few days, and it's been about a month. I have no excuses. This is kind of short, again, I'm sorry.

Dean and Castiel stayed in the shed until the end of school. They would have stayed longer but Dean needed to get Sammy go see if John was home. After reluctantly leaving the shed, Dean spotted Sam behind the school. Much to Castiel’s confusion, he went back into the shed and looked through the door.

“Dean, what’s going on?”

“I saw Sammy behind the school instead of in front of it. He looks like he's talking to someone.”

They spoke in hushed voices. Castiel looked confused still but he seemed to understand Dean’s worry.

Dean could see Sam but not the person he was talking to. Sam was giggling and blushing like a schoolgirl. Dean couldn't help but smile at the sight. Sam then leaned forward in what seemed like a kiss.

“Yeah, go Sammy…”

Dean said quietly with a soft smile. Seeing Dean look so happy and loving made Castiel's heart flutter. _Oh dad, if I didn't know I was gay before, I sure as hell know now._

Dean saw Sam saying goodbye to whoever he was talking to, _and making out with_ , and fast walk to the front of the school. Dean would have left but he wanted to see this mystery girl.

“Cas, Sammy’s got himself a girlfriend.”

Castiel chuckled a bit at Dean's excitement.

“Yeah, it seems he does.” 

Castiel then saw Dean's face drop and his smile was replaced by a look of horror.

“Holy shit…”

_Despite what people seem to think, shit is not all that holy…_

“What is it Dean?”

Dean moved and opened the door to the shed and walking out a few feet. When Castiel stepped out, he saw Gabriel walking away from the back wall. Castiel was not surprised in the least.

Gabriel told him all about Sam. They sat up for hours talking about the perfect Winchester brothers. Castiel was happy that Gabriel finally made a move. He didn't realize he was smiling and nodding slowly, not unlike Dean not more than a few minutes ago.

“That was your brother…”

“Yep.”

“I mean- I didn't know Sam was- I thought he- I didn't know he was into- but wouldn't he have told me- is that why- is- what?”

“You should probably go over there before he starts worrying about you.”

“Oh!- Yeah, I should probably…”

Castiel grabbed his shoulders and turned his body so they were facing each other. He pulled him down slightly and planted a firm kiss on this lips.

“Go take care of your little brother. Remember that you can come to my house anytime alright?”

That seemed to startle him out of his stupor.

“Oh, right, yeah I'll go.”

After exchanging short goodbyes, Dean started walking away.

“Oh! And Dean!”. He called after him.

“Yeah, Cas?”

“Go easy on him, okay?”

Dean nodded and gave a thumbs up. Castiel jokingly, but not entirely, blew him a kiss. Dean rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. Castiel twiddled his fingers and waved an imaginary fan. Dean just smiled and turned to keep walking. Once he was out of sight, Castiel unfurled his wings and flew home.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
When Dean got the Impala, Sam was already in the passenger seat. He was tapping his fingers on the dashboard and he had a smile on his face. Dean hadn't seen Sam this happy since that one fourth of July a few years ago. Dean felt like crying. _God, I'm so gay_ , He thought to himself.

He got in the car and Sam jumped at the sudden noise.

“Hey Sammy.”. He said with a grin.

“Um, hi Dean. What took you so long?”

“I was in the shed, did you have fun today?”

“What?”

“Did you have a good day?”

“Um, yeah, I did actually, what were you doing in the shed?”

“Making out with someone, so, tell me about your day.” He said as he slowly backed out the parking space and out of the parking lot.

“Well, I finished my homework during class so I don't have to do it at home, and lunch was pretty good, I've made some friends, and I- um…”

“What is it Sammy?” Dean’s Cheshire grin grew wider.

“I- uh- I actually met someone.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Do I know them?”

“Um, I think so...I know you know their brother.”

Dean was thrilled to hear it confirmed. His face felt like it was going to crack but couldn't help the smile.

“Dean, are you okay?”

After inhaling forever, he found his voice again. “Yeah, I'm okay, I'm perfect, Sammy.”

He could feel tears pricking at his eyes.

“Oh my God Dean, you're crying!”

“Am I?”

Dean pulled over and stopped the car. He leaned over and hugged Sam. 

“Um...Dean…”

“I'm so happy, Sam”

He leaned back and wiped his eyes. He laughed.

“Dean, you're worrying me.”

“Sorry, I'm just-”

After composing himself, he spoke again.

“I'm really happy for you Sammy. You seem happy.”

“I...am...I am happy.”

Dean smiled wider and leaned his head down. He sighed before talking after a minute or so of silence.

“If you mention this to anyone, I will kill you.”

“Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you cried on me just because I told you I have a boyfriend-”

He immediately slapped his hands over his mouth. Dean looked over in shock, he didn't expect him to just blurt it out like that.

“I- uh- Dean-”

Dean cut him off by laughing.

“Damn, I thought I was going to have to fight it outta you but you just did it yourself.”

“Wh-What?”

He sighed, “Don't worry about it, Gabriel seems like a good guy.”

Sam looked like a fish out of water. He was spluttering for something to say.

“How did you know?”

“I told you, I was at the shed today and I could see you.”

“O-Oh...Speaking of which!”

Dean was taken slightly aback at his change of tone.

“You said you were with someone in the shed today.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, who is she? Is she your girlfriend or just another fling?”

Dean scoffed, “We are dating, as a matter of fact.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and I really like 'em. I think it's gonna last. I sure hope to God it does anyway.”

He mumbled the last part, not intending it on being heard, but Sam did hear it.

“So, am I gonna meet her?”

“Maybe…”

Dean was lost in thought. Just thinking about Cas, and his beautiful blue eyes and the feel of the lip piercing on his tongue and lips, and his sarcastic remarks and his-

“Dean!”

“Oh what?”

“The light’s green.”

“Oh, right.”

Dean could see Sam’s quizzical look out of the corner of his eye before he shook his head and looked out the window.

They drove past the apartment and saw John’s car sitting in the designated parking space. Dean swore under his breath and drove right past the complex and started driving to the Novak residence.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------   
Castiel was greeted with a tackle-hug from Gabriel.

“Welcome home Cassie!”

“Um, hi.”

“So,” Gabriel but his elbow next to Castiel’s head and leaned his head on his hand. “How was your day.”. He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Get off me.”

Gabriel rolled off and sat down next to him.

“So,” Gabriel bumped his shoulder with his own. “How was your steamy day with Winchester number one?”

Castiel sighed. “He dressed in a sexy maid costume and I was wearing all leather.” He stood up. “Nothing, we talked, established our relationship, then made out a little.”

“So, no 'Fifty Shades of Gray’ action?”

“No, not yet anyway.”. He winked and started to walk up the stairs to his room.

“What’s this I hear about 'Fifty Shades of Gray’?”

Lucifer walked into the foyer where their conversation took place.

“I think Cassie has a bondage kink.”

“Cassie, do you have a bondage kink?

“Yes, and I'm a top.” He deadpanned.

“Wait, Castiel has a bondage kink?

Michael said as he walked in, investigating what all the commotion was about.

“Kill me now please.” He said as he went into his room.

“He’s a top.” Gabriel chipped in.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
Dean was blushing like he was just caught in an adult novelty store by Bobby or something. Him and Sam got to the house a few minutes ago when they heard an interesting conversation. Dean couldn't help but think, _bullshit, I'm totally a top, he's the sub._ After a few moments of Dean being embarrassed and Sam laughing like a madman, he finally knocked on the door. Gabriel answered, barely holding back laughter.

“Hey Sammy! Hi Dean.” He said enthusiastically.

“Hey Gabe, is it okay if we hang out here a bit?”

“Of course, come on in!”

Dean couldn't help smiling at the way they looked at each other. _If that's what me and Cas are like, we are so screwed._ Dean noticed the looks on Michael and Lucifer’s faces as they looked at him. He also couldn't help noticing how, at first glance they seem nothing alike, but their faces are the exact same shape.

“Castiel is upstairs.”

“Thanks”

They glared at each other and Dean could hear them laughing as he walked up the stairs and up to Cas’ room.

He remembered which room was his by the TARDIS door. Here knocked on the door and waited for a response. All he got was “Fuck off, Luci!”

“Um, it's me, but if you don't wanna-”

He was cut off by the door swinging open and Castiel standing there with his arms wide open. “I'm so sorry, sugar. I thought you were my brother coming up to mess with me more.”

“Oh, sorry, no. Um, John was at the apartment so we just came here instead, I hope that's okay.”

“Yes, of course it's fine. I love you and your little brother too and I want you to feel safe and if being here makes you feel safe then-”

Dean cut him off with a kiss. “It's okay, I understand.”

Cas just nodded and walked back into his room, Dean following suit. Dean shut the door behind him and sat down on the bed next to him. They just kind of sat there staring at each other, smiling like they knew each other their whole lives.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------  
“So, you wanna watch a movie?”

“Um, sure. What movie?”

“I have a lot, you can choose.”

“Um, okay.”

“C'mon Samalam, it's this way.”

Sam followed Gabriel up the stairs and was led to a pink door. Gabriel opened the door and swooped one arm in, offering Sam to go in.

“Ladies first!”

“Uh-huh…”

Sam was a little embarrassed but was happy nonetheless. Sam never thought he was gay or bi, but when he met Gabe, something inside him knew that this man was going to change his life. For better or worse, he didn't know. All he knew was that being with Gabriel is one of the only things that makes him happy.

“You okay?”

Sam jumped back to life. “What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Great actually.”

“You were spacing out there for a sec.”

“Yeah…”

Sam took a minute to look around the room. He had been in there one time before, but it looked a little different. The walls were lavender purple and his closet doors were light pink like the door. The room itself was quite large but it seemed smaller with all of the random stuff strewn about. Candy wrappers everywhere. He had shelves on the walls with  
books and jars of candy.

“Sorry about the mess, I got distracted and forgot to clean.”

“It's okay, really.”

“No, it's not I should’ve-”

Sam took a long step towards him and put his face only inches from Gabe's face.

“Shhh, it's fine.”

Gabriel swallowed hard and nodded his head. Sam immediately slapped out of his personal space and started talking like none of it just happened.

“So, where are your movies?”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so that's that. Please review and stuff. criticism is encouraged!


End file.
